Thursday, May 20, 2010

Day Eighteen PRPV

I MUST eat at home tomorrow night! I realize I am stretching it a bit on my one cooked meal a day, using it as a crutch to eat a little less than par. To put everyone at ease (cuz I'm sure all of you think about this as much as I do...ha!), I am considering stepping it up a bit after 30 days.

I truly am in transition and I'm trying not to condemn myself for the transition foods I am holding onto for now. It has been about a year and half that I began transitioning from processed foods to whole foods and then to organic foods. It worked well for myself and my family to do this gradually. I lost 30 pounds in the process....and another 20 using HCG of which I gained back 10lb for a total of 40 lbs.

Anyway, I tried to cold turkey "go raw" several months ago and failed miserably and spiraled back into sugar addiction until I began this challenge. That is why I set up the exceptions this time that are somewhat based on knowing myself realistically and making room for my social lifestyle that isn't going to change anytime soon.

Those who know me well, know that I'm an all or nothing type of gal. When I do something new, whether it's a project, a diet, or changing a character trait......I have a hard time doing it until I have EVERYthing needed and can do it 100% and perfectly. If I can't, then I just assume not do it at all. Over the years, I've realized the stress this puts on myself and others in my life and I have tried to put this hang-up behind me. I fail at it A LOT.

Example: Square Foot Gardening. I've decided to switch to this type of gardening this year and couldn't be content to just do one box this year and add a few more next year. Instead, I wanted to switch the WHOLE garden to this and do everything by the book. Thinking about doing anything other than that, made me feel paralyzed and not willing to even have a garden. Oh....Lord, have mercy on me.

So back to this challenge. Of course I know 30 days is not going to change my life....BUT it was a time frame I was willing to commit. Maybe I'll continue after that, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll take a break and go back to it over and over. Maybe I'll eat Raw Brownies instead of Hot Fudge Sundae's with nuts for the next year. Maybe I'll eat one meal a day with meat instead of 3 the rest of my life. Maybe I'll crave a green smoothie instead of Perkin's Tremendous Twelve for breakfast. I really, really hope some new improved habit will come from this 30 days. If nothing else, I've discovered the Raw Goodness of Raw Desserts. Maybe I'll be in transition for the next 10 years. Again...Lord, have mercy on me. Free from this addiction to food.

Breakfast: Green Smoothie
Lunch: 4 Mangos, turned into a smoothie after boredom of eating several bites. Smoothie made with mango, papaya, strawberry, yogurt, raw milk, 1/2 slice Raw Chocolate Pie
Snack: Cashews
Supper: Side Salad and 2 slices pizza (removed meat and as much cheese as possible without making a huge mess and losing the veggies)
Snack: Take a guess.....raw brownie.....why oh why won't I just reach for a piece of fruit???? Laziness, pure laziness. Brownies are pop-and-go. Fruit is wash, peel, cut, plate, napkin, fork, etc. Lame, I know....just being honest.

Water: 72 oz

Detox Symptoms: Very thirsty. Bad breath.
Obstacles: Above mentioned.
Joys: Not thinking about where I'm going to get my next sugar fix. Yes, people...sugar is a drug (crystal) and I don't want to downplay the struggles of true drug and alcohol addicts, but often times I feel I can relate when I recognize the lengths I will go to in order to feed the sugar addiction. Sick.

Thanks for listening everyone....

No comments:

Post a Comment